60% of those addicted to gambling will commit crimes 1. 20% of gamblling addicts commit or attempt suicide 2. 63% of gambling addicts are alcoholics 1. 20% of addicted gamblers have filed for bankruptcy 3. 50% will abuse spouses and children 4. 20% of the homeless are gambling addicts 5. 50% of gambling addicts will divorce 6. The average (gambling) debt is between $63,000. That shouldn’t be news to most people. About 85% of adults in the U.S. Have gambled at least once in their life and the gambling industry takes in about $500 billion a year. What might be news is that as many as 23 million Americans go into debt because of gambling and the average loss is estimated to be around $55,000.

• Even so, financial considerations accounted for roughly 75% of the more than 2,000 cases the Department of Defense heard January through November 2017. That seems unlikely to change.
• Despite the prevalence of gambling addictions in America, debts incurred by too much betting were at one time non-dischargeable in bankruptcy. While the specifics of dischargeability with any type of debt should be explored with a bankruptcy attorney, it is important for you to know that if you count gambling losses as one of your reasons for.

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It was November 2005.

I was so excited.

I won a $20,000 jackpot playing online video poker.

Not only could I pay off the gambling debt I’d been accumulating slowly over the last month or two but I could pay off previous debts as well.

I could put this nightmare behind me.

And then almost in the same moment I realized there was no way I was going to keep that money.

I was a gambling addict.

I wasn’t going to stop just because I won a big amount.

Stopping would mean that I wasn’t gambling anymore.

If I wasn’t gambling anymore I would have to deal with life, and the whole reason I gambled in the first place was because I couldn’t deal with life.

I had Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) but at the time I had no idea.

Everything was so hard for me.

A regular work day.

Having friends.

Being in a relationship with anyone.

Maybe a good day for you is a day where you wake up and your energy and focus are at 100%. And you have a busy work day and then socialize with friends and by the time your day is over you’re down to 15 or 20%. It was a busy day for you but it was a good one. Maybe a bad day means you start at 50% and end the day at 0%.

Imagine starting your day at 0%.

That is what having unmedicated ADD was like for me.

I started at 0% and the only place to go was into negative energy.

Everything was difficult because I had no focus and no energy to concentrate.

To get basic things done I had to reach inside for whatever energy I could find. I would try to consume energy drinks and energy shots but they aren’t meant for people with ADD.

It took longer for me to do things.

Reading a book was almost impossible and still hard today.

But I got things done because that’s what I was supposed to do.

“Normal” people go to work every day.

“Normal” people like to spend time with others.

“Normal” people can read books and some even do it for fun.

So I tried to be “normal”. I tried so hard.

And on the surface I succeeded.

But on the inside I was in so much pain.

Living a normal productive life caused me so much mental pain and I didn’t know why.

I didn’t know how to cope with this pain so I turned to gambling.

When I was gambling I didn’t have to deal with the pain.

I could get through the day as long as I knew that gambling was there waiting for me.

I didn’t gamble to win money.

I gambled to survive.

Eventually, like any addiction, it became unsustainable.

I gambled money that wasn’t mine and now others knew about my pain.

They tried to help me.

I wanted them to help me.

But I didn’t know it was ADD.

I didn’t know why I was addicted to gambling.

It took over 10 years of addiction counselling, and every kind of therapy that we could think of before I stumbled across a random ADD test and realized: this is me.

Bankruptcy And Gambling Debt

I got medication and everything changed for the better.

I started to be able to do normal things and I didn’t feel the mental pain anymore.

It took a while to let go of the addiction entirely but eventually it was gone.

But back in 2005 when I won that $20,000 jackpot, there was no way I was stopping.

Someone could have given me $100,000 and I would have kept gambling with that.

I gambled until I had no more available credit and no more cash in my bank account.

Rent was due on Monday and I didn’t have it. I had to borrow it from a friend.—

Money doesn’t solve gambling problems.

Money enables gambling problems.

To solve gambling problems you have to spend the time to figure out why you’re gambling in the first place.

It took a lot of years of my life but I figured it out.

If you are having gambling problems, spending problems, or going through any kind of addiction, and you want to stop, I believe you have to dig deeper and find out what is causing your addiction.

For me, addiction was not the problem. The addiction was the way I coped with my problem. The problem was something called Attention Deficit Disorder.

ADD is real and I will always have it. The medication fixes the part of my brain that can’t focus so now I can do most basic things and they aren’t painful.

But it doesn’t fix everything.

I will always be a little bit different but I’m ok with that.

Some days are exhausting but at least now I get to start at 100% and stop before I get to 0%.​

#BellLetsTalk

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Gambling can affect many areas of your life.

Finances

Are you:

• Spending more than you want on gambling?
• Struggling to find the money for bills?
• Taking out loans to cover gambling debts?

A financial crisis is often what brings a person to address their gambling. It’s also not uncommon for partners, friends or family members to tell us that they did not realise their loved one had a gambling problem until there were serious financial consequences such as a court summons for non-payment of debt, or repossession action on their home.

Financial problems can really mount up, and more quickly than you realise. Bills don’t get paid, credit cards are maxed out, debts accumulate – pay day loans look like a solution, but high interest rates make the situation worse. Borrowing or stealing from loved ones, businesses or employers also happens when people feel increasingly desperate.

It may feel as though there is no chance of repaying your debts unless you carry on gambling – we hear from many people who feel completely trapped by their financial situation. Continuing to gamble will only make debts bigger – clearing debts gradually will take a while, but in reality it’s the only way to manage the problem.

Many problem gamblers have not let anyone know about how much they owe, and it can be daunting to take the step and tell people you trust, but it’s essential if you are ever going to take control and improve the situation.

• Think about contacting a specialist not for profit debt advice agency. You can find links to other agencies at Links to other support agencies
• If you’re gambling, unless you get it under control, you’ll find it difficult to get out of debt and stay out of debt in future. So it will also be important to take steps to address your gambling, as well as your debt.
• Our Advisers can give you more information and advice to help you take the first step – talk to us now.

Mental health

According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, problem gamblers are more likely than others to suffer from low self-esteem, develop stress-related disorders, to become anxious, have poor sleep and appetite, to develop a substance misuse problem and to suffer from depression. In this section we explore some of the reasons for this, as well as giving you some advice if this concerns you.

Are you experiencing all or some or all of the following?

• Extreme emotions or mood swings
• Feeling that gambling is the only thing you enjoy, to the exclusion of other things
• Using gambling as a way to deal with other problems or emotions in your life
• Difficulty sleeping
• Feeling depressed or anxious
• Having suicidal thoughts

If you answered yes to any of these questions, gambling could be a problem. If you’re not sure how your gambling affecting you at this stage, our self assessment may help.

Although a lot of people gamble to escape feelings of depression or other mental health problems, gambling can actually make these conditions worse.

If you gamble a lot yourself, you may have found the ‘high’ of anticipating ‘the big win’ to be very mentally involving and extremely exciting, perhaps better than the feelings you experience taking part in any other activity. You may also have found the devastation of losing to be a massive low, leading to feelings of despair.

This is especially the case when large amounts of money are being staked, increasing the potential for a massive ‘high’, but also makes the ‘low’ feel worse when it comes. Feelings of loss and despair following a gambling spree can lead to greater desires to gamble straight away in order to try and get back on a ‘high’. However, by continuing to gamble, any negative feelings will only get worse.

The impact of these highs and lows on your mental health can be significant. Studies show that brain chemistry and cell structure can be changed by this type of exposure. The system of ‘rewards’ in the brain can be affected: where previously you might have found pleasure in other activities such as food or sex, you may now find that these don’t hold so much appeal.

The good news is that studies have shown that brain chemistry can be rebalanced, and everyday life can start to feel good again. Finding ways to change your relationship with gambling and getting the right support for yourself can begin this process.

• Get help

It is important to speak to professionals if you are worried about the impact of gambling on your mental health. Your GP may be the first person you talk to, and they may refer you to specialist services if they feel this will help. If you are not registered with a GP, you can find one local to you at www.nhs.uk

If you are concerned about your gambling, GamCare has a range of help, advice and support services. To discuss this further, talk to our Advisers now.

• Problem gambling and suicide

Recent research has shown a strong link between gambling problems and thoughts of suicide – more than double the amount of people affected by gambling problems say that they have considered taking their own life compared to those who are not affected by gambling.

With other addictions, such as drugs or alcohol, there is a limit to how much a person’s body can take before they need medical intervention. Gambling is not like that, and often a downward spiral can continue unchecked for a long time. Especially if large amounts of debt are involved, it can seem as though there is no other option.

If you have self-harmed or had suicidal thoughts or feelings, it is really important to seek professional help as soon as possible. You can speak to your GP or find NHS support, or you may find the following links useful.

Don't wait until it seems like life is not worth living. There is help available and you are not on your own.

Samaritans: 116 123 (24-hours) or www.samaritans.org

Maytree: a charity supporting people in suicidal crisis in a non-medical setting in London. If you, or someone you know, could benefit from a one-off stay in a safe and confidential space, call 020 7263 7070 or email [email protected] Visit www.maytree.org.uk for more information.

Rethink Mental Illness: 0300 5000 927 (Mon-Fri, 10am-2pm) or www.rethink.org

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For men aged 15-35: www.thecalmzone.net

Gambling Debt Facts

Bipolar UK: www.bipolaruk.org

Sane: 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6pm-11pm) or email email: [email protected] / visit www.sane.org.uk

Mind: 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm) or www.mind.org.uk

The Mental Health Foundation: www.mentalhealth.org.uk

YoungMinds: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm) / www.youngminds.org.uk

Papyrus: HopelineUK: 0800 068 4141 or www.papyrus-uk.org

Relationships

Having a gambling problem can be very all-consuming, and as well as the effect on the gamblers themselves, it can have a devastating impact on their relationships with other people. Do you recognise any of the following?

• Arguing more with your partner or family, especially about money
• Being preoccupied with gambling and finding it difficult to focus on other things
• Spending less time with people and more time gambling
• Lying to friends and family about losses
• Stealing money from friends or family to gamble with

These are signs that gambling is becoming a problem. Your friends and family may feel like you don’t care about them any more, if all of your time and attention is taken up with gambling. The emotional distance and tension this creates can be devastating in the long term. Lying, breaking promises and constantly missing important events can mean your loved ones lose trust in your relationships, and this is very hard to repair. Your loved ones may also start to feel guilty about the situation, especially if they do not realise that you are gambling – they may think that they are doing something to drive you away.

Problem gambling in a family can also have an effect on children – the impact of stress within the family unit and potential loss of relationship with a parent can have lasting consequences.

• Get help

Once a problem gambler seeks help and enters recovery there can be an opportunity to re-establish relationships. Rebuilding trust can be a difficult task but relationships can heal once a problem gambler enters recovery. Breaking an addiction is a very difficult process. Recovery takes time, hard work and commitment.

If you are concerned about your gambling or that of a loved one, talk to us. We provide support for gamblers as well as friends and family who are affected, and we can help each person in their own right.

Concerned about a violent relationship?

If you are concerned that your relationship with a problem gambler is becoming extremely unhealthy or even violent, it is important to seek help for yourself. Likewise if you feel your children are impacted in an unhealthy way it is important to take action. The following links can help:

National Domestic Violence Helpline:0808 2000 247 (24 hours) or www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

Relate: 0300 100 1234 or www.relate.org.uk

NSPCC: www.nspcc.org.uk

0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)

0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)

Women’s Aid: www.womensaid.org.uk

Refuge:www.refuge.org.uk

Family Lives: 0808 800 2222 (daily, 7am-midnight) or www.familylives.org.uk

Isolation

Many gamblers report that they get a sense of ‘community’ from the environment they gamble in – for example the betting shop, or people they talk to online. Problem gamblers can lose interest in maintaining personal relationships, career or hobbies as they are preoccupied with gambling, and they can suffer from social isolation. Regular life sometimes doesn’t hold the same appeal as the gambling ‘high’.

Arguments, strained relationships, failure to meet responsibilities, alienation, separation, divorce, physical or mental abuse can all impact someone with a gambling problem. The gambler may isolate themselves due to guilt or shame, or perhaps because they have borrowed or stolen to fund their gambling. It can begin to feel like there is no way back.

GamCare can help.

Talk to our Advisers for more information on our face to face, online and telephone support services, or join our Forum and chatroom to share your experiences and speak to others in similar situations.